Noggin Scratchers: Why Celebrities are Giving Odd Names to Their Children

When those who live the glamorous life go through the glorious experience of giving birth, those of us among the “peasant” class are usually more interested in finding out what moniker was permanently attached to the celebrity offspring than knowing anything about the parentage, labor and delivery, or what the child looks like.  The rich and famous have a penchant for attaching bizarre, quirky, unusual, and downright ridiculous names to their descendants – and it sometimes seems as though they strive for selecting the most outrageous or silly names possible. These names are put in the spotlight on TV and  internet.

 

While celebrities do actually give their children normal-sounding “human” names like Katherine and Suzanne or Michael and Edward, they can produce such unusual handles for their offspring that you are left wondering what in the world was on their mind when they chose their children’s names.  They do realize that these poor kids will eventually get older and have to deal with adolescent teasing, and then enter the adult world and try to sound like a serious and mature grown up with some of these hefty handles, right?

Here are some bizarre baby names given to celebrity offspring:

Audio Science – son of Shannyn Sossaman and Dallas Clayton
Alabama Gyspy Rose – daughter of Shooter Jennings and Drea de Matteo
Daisy Boo Pamela – daughter of Jamie Oliver and Juliette Norton (“Here comes Daisy Boo Boo!”)
Bronx Mowgli – son of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz (not a New York based version of The Jungle Book)
Fifi Trixibelle – daughter of Bob Geldof and Paula Yates
Jagger Joseph Blue – daughter of Soleil Moon Frye (aka: Punky Brewster) and Jason Goldberg (yes, this is a baby girl’s name)
Kal-El – son of Nicolas Cage and Alice Kim (and the name of Superman’s father)
Little Pixie – daughter of Bob Geldof and Paula Yates
Moxie Crimefighter – daughter of Penn and Emily Jillette
Peaches Honeyblossom – daughter of Bob Geldof and Paula Yates (competing with Oliver & Norton for most ridiculous names for children, apparently)
Pilot Inspektor – son of Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf
Poppy Honey Rosie – daughter of Jamie Oliver and Juliette Norton
Poet Sienna Rose – daughter of Soleil Moon Frye and Jason Goldberg
Petal Blossom Rainbow – daughter of Jamie Oliver and Juliette Norton (did this couple have a child with a normal name?)
Zuma Nesta Rock – son of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale

The real question is – why?  Why would someone, regardless of their popularity, wealth, or box office revenue, give their child a name that is ridiculous, bizarre, hard to spell, even harder to pronounce, and will subject the child to endless tortures when they enter their teenage years?  Explanations are usually not forthcoming for the bizarre names.

The likely answer is because celebrities want to set themselves apart from the masses and by giving their kids odd names, they are also setting their child apart.  It’s just one more way to draw attention to themselves, forced upon unsuspecting children who have no say in the matter.

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